CHORES

Kids.
It's time to be honest and say it...the real reason we have them.
It's so they can clean house, right?
RIGHT?
I'm not alone here, I hope.
My parents told me every Saturday that's why they had us.
Well, maybe not out loud.
But it was in their eyes--if I could have seen them behind their sunglasses and the reclined chair, their fingers ordering me to keep picking up sticks, clean the dog cage, mend the clothes, scrub the floor, chop the wood, and then feed them some more grapes.
My siblings don't recall that memory.  But I'm standing by it.  It really was like that.

A few months ago a friend of mine told me that she had read a study about chores.  The Harvard Grant Study, the longest running longitudinal study in history, had found that kids who do chores are more successful adults.  (see article here)
It also said the earlier they started doing them the better--the more successful they became.
At that point my 2-year-old and 4-year-old really didn't have any responsibilities around the house, other than eating their food and cleaning up their toys.  Maybe it was the study that finally gave me the impetus to start thinking about the role I wanted chores to play in my home.
And this is what I realized:  I wanted my kids to understand WHY.
I wanted to understand why.  Other than the obvious.
I started pondering and praying.  I read the scriptures and thought through stories.
And then one day in church I heard a word that changed everything.
The word was 'steward.'
Steward: someone who takes care of something and protects it.
I read all the scripture verses I could find with the word 'steward' and 'stewardship'.  And gradually something as ordinary and tedious and obnoxious as chores shifted into something that made me want to cry because of how brilliant and wise and purposeful it was.
I realized that at least one purpose of life is to become valiant stewards over little things like our beds and bodies, so that we can eventually be good stewards over our children and homes, and one day in the future be capable and wise stewards over all we inherit from the Father.

Note:  As latter-day Saints (Mormons) we believe that the Lord means it really--like, literally--that every man and woman has the potential to one day "inherit all things" (see Revelation 21:7, Luke 15:31)--all the power and glory that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ have.  I believe that just as a baby bird grows up to be like its parent, each of us, through the good choices we make, have the potential to grow up to be like our Father, who is a god.

Our stewardships teach us how to be like Heavenly Father.

We learn Christ-like qualities through stewardships--charity and patience and kindness as I raise my children; diligence, consistency, and discipline even when I'm not motivated as I clean toilets and do dishes and wash floors and do laundry.
Now I understand a little better how wise and purposeful our Father in Heaven was and is to design life like it is.
Why the dust never stops falling.
Why young children drop food at every single meal.
Why toilet bowls grow that nasty stuff when you don't clean them.
Why teeth decay if you don't brush them.
In a world that is constantly falling into disorder, it gives us the opportunity to practice being stewards.
So I created a Family Home Evening lesson for my family to teach my 2 and 4 year olds about stewardship, which you will find below and you are free to use if you like.
Since teaching this lesson, I try to say 'stewardship' instead of 'chores'. Yes, it has two extra syllables which is annoying.  And yes, maybe it borders on making me someone you want to slap because WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY 'CHORES'?  But for me, right now, I want my kids to see--and I want to be reminded--that there is more purpose to what I might see as mundane and ordinary.  I am learning to be a good steward.  And that is exciting.  That is empowering.  And maybe, just maybe, if they understand that, it'll get my kids to actually do their chores.



FAMILY HOME EVENING LESSON:  STEWARDSHIP

Show children a Reese's Pieces (or another favorite chocolate).  Have one for each child.  Tell them you are going to give these chocolates to them right now, but they cannot eat them right now.  This is the game:  You will be allowed to eat them at the end of the lesson if...

1) They are not unwrapped at all

2) They are not melted or squished

Your job is to take really good care of this Reece's so that it still looks new by the end of the lesson.  You are allowed to do anything you want with it to take care of it (except eat it).

Ask:  What will you do with it right now?  What do you think the best thing to do is, so it doesn't get unwrapped or melted or squished?  (Hopefully they choose to put it up someplace safe like on a shelf or in the fridge)

Show the word STEWARD (written in a cool font and in colors on a piece of paper).  This is the word 'steward.'  Can you say 'steward'?  Explain that a steward is someone who is given something to take care of.  So, you are a steward right now because you have this chocolate to take care of.  The thing or things you are taking care of is called your 'stewardship.'  Can you say 'stewardship'?  Your stewardship is this chocolate.  Explain that Mom and Dad are also stewards...over our bodies, our children, our home and cars, our testimonies.

Ask:  What else are you a steward over?  (Body, toys, clothes, books)

Doctrine and Covenants 104:11
Explain that in the scriptures it talks about being a steward.  The Lord gave a commandment:  "Organize yourselves and appoint every man his stewardship"  (explain what 'appoint' means)

So today we are going to give both of you a stewardship.  Are you ready?

At this point I pulled out the stewardship charts I had made.  (You could make it really exciting for them by covering the charts with a towel or scarf and have an unveiling or do something else silly that will excite them to know what the stewardship will be.)

Announce what their very first stewardships will be.  At the beginning we kept it very simple.  They each had two stewardships--making their beds and unloading the dishwasher silverware.  (There are all kinds of ideas on Pinterest of age appropriate chores, if your kids are ready to do more.)

Here is where we hung the stewardship charts.  These are the later version.  We 'trained' our kids on much simpler ones that had only two chores, as you saw above. 
Also, our desk always looks this orderly.  Just wanted to make sure you knew.

I found the template for the chart at the Crafting Chicks.
At one point it occurred to me that my children don't know how to read, so I added the little icons.

I explained how after they had completed their stewardship they could move the magnet from 'TO DO' to 'DONE.'
I told them that I would be coaching them how to do their stewardship, so that they had the training they need.  Once they were 'certified,' they would be doing it on their own.

Then we went back to the scriptures, to 2 Nephi 5:27.  After explaining the context (this was shortly after Nephi had arrived in the promised land and they had separated themselves from Laman and Lemuel), tell the children that Nephi's family was very happy (see verse 27).  He gives many reasons for this.
Look at verse 17.  What was one of the reasons they were so happy?  Explain what it means to 'labor' or to be 'industrious.'

Teach that work is part of righteousness and happiness (as long as you are working on the right things).  Work teaches us how to be more like Heavenly Father and Jesus.  They work hard, too.  (You could share examples like when Jesus said let the children come, even when he was so tired (Luke 18:15-16) or Moses 1:39 where the Lord tells us exactly WHAT his job, or work, is.)

Tell them this is the really cool thing:  if we learn to be good stewards and take care of the things we have been given, eventually we will be given greater things, wonderful things.  (see D&C 52:13 or 78:22)
Right now it's just taking care of your bed or the dishes...later it will be your whole bedroom, someday your own house and your own family, eventually you will be given all the Father has--what a stewardship!  And you'll be capable and confident and wise because many years ago you were a faithful steward of something as small as making your bed and continued that pattern until today.

End with your testimony of stewardships.
If they have done well with their Reece's stewardship they may eat their candy now.

Love, C