October 15, 2011:
Yesterday Hope was three weeks old...Hope had more painful-looking scowls yesterday, so they gave her more oxycodone. Caeli and Tyler took us out to eat at a cheesesteak place and it was really good. We got the food as take-out and ate it in the car together so that Hope did not need to go in the restaurant.
This morning we took the kids to Gardner Village and then back to John and Celeste's (Caeli's aunt and uncle) to meet Tyler, Caeli and Hope. We sat outside on the patio while John, Tyler and Asa (Caeli's nephew) stacked wood and then played like crazy in the yard. Hope slept peacefully on Caeli's lab thrilling us all with her smiles and her gaze when she opened her eyes.
Tyler changes her diaper and dresses her now because Caeli cannot bear to see her...body. Tyler is so wonderful with Hope and she gives him the biggest smiles. Hope is starting to look bluish around her eyes and nose and her hand movements are less and slower. She did lightly grasp my finger with her hand a couple times tonight. She has very long, dainty fingers. Her eyes are the most beautiful almond-shaped eyes that look right at her Mom or Dad and today she looked right at Asa. It is a sacred experience to be in her presence. We love you, Hope!
October 16:
I forgot to mention a special moment with Hope yesterday on John and Celeste's patio. Celeste grows beautiful roses in her back yard and as I was walking by one of the pink roses the smell was lovely. I wanted Hope to be able to smell it, so I found one of the petals that held the aroma, carefully pulled it off the blossom, and brought it to Hope. We held it up to Hope's nose so that she could smell it. Now Hope has smelled the roses!
Today was a hard day for Thom because he had to return to Illinois. After saying good-bye to all the Goodbars (Caeli's sister's family)...he went to say bye to John and Celeste and Celeste told us about a song that she was listening to on a "Runaway Bride" soundtrack in John's car. The song is called "Never Saw Blue Like That" sung by Shawn Colvin (from Carbondale). Celeste heard it yesterday as she was driving and it sounded to her as if Caeli was singing it to Hope. She played the song for us and John and I thought it sounded like Hope singing to Caeli. Here it is (this is a video someone made on youtube with the lyrics, it's not an official video):
After Thom said his goodbyes to John and Celeste we headed to Caeli and Tyler's house. This is the time that Thom has been dreading the most. Tyler was just leaving for church as we arrived. We had a wonderful visit with Caeli and Hope. Hope opened her eyes and smiled a little for us. Thom hooked up their DVD player to their TV. Caeli told us that she had a scare that morning. Hope suddenly opened her eyes and rolled around and then she became limp (something like that). Hope did seem more sleepy than yesterday.
As it became later in the afternoon, Thom knew he had to get going. Reluctantly he kissed Hope good-bye. He knew he would not be able to kiss her again in this life. I went out the door with him to say my good-bye in the driveway. As soon as the door shut Thom started sobbing uncontrollably. He cried all the way to the car and then sat in the car trying to control himself. We said our good-byes with attempts to console each other. As Thom drove away I watched until the car disappeared in the brush and down the ridge...
This evening there was an Open House at the Buckmiller's for their son who is about to leave on a mission to Orlando, FL. Caeli & Tyler's apartment is in the basement of the Buckmiller's home, so Caeli knew she would have visitors dropping by to see Hope. So after Thom left, I tidied up their apartment a bit while Caeli held Hope...Hope is rarely ever put down. Caeli or Tyler hold her all the time. At night Caeli sleeps with Hope on her tummy until about 6am when Tyler takes her on his tummy and Caeli puts her head on Tyler's shoulder to see her pretty little face.
When I left tonight I said the same thing to Hope that I have been saying to her each night. It is what my grandfather use to say to me when he tucked me into bed at night:
"Nighty night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. If they bite, then bite them right back."
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