HOPE'S STORY, PART LAST: "THE-END-BUT-NOT-REALLY"

I'm going to end Hope's Story with my two cents.

This is what I think:  The story is not the real story.

Let me explain.

There are things that happen to people and everyone around them asks, "Why did that happen to them? Why do they have to suffer?  Why do bad things have to happen to good people?"

And this is what I would say:  What people on the outside see, tells so little of the story.  Because most of the story happens inside.

HOPE'S STORY, PART 16: "DEAR HOPE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

Dear Hope,
Today is your birthday.
I have been thinking about you all day.
I have been thinking about what you might be doing now.
Right now I'm thinking about what we would be doing if you were here.
You probably know by now that I am not a great success in the kitchen, but I would have found the perfect recipe and made you a purple butterfly cake.  The more frosting the better.  Then I would have lined the floor with newspaper, put you in nothing but your diaper, and put you in your high chair.  Your cake would have one candle in it and I think I would have Daddy blow it out for you after we sang you "Happy Birthday".  Grandma and Grandpa would be on Skype and so would Mimi and Papere.  Then I would have placed the cake in front of you and let you go to town.
I would have taken lots of pictures and put them on Facebook and on our blog.

HOPE'S STORY, PART 15: "I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE"

The last entries from my mom's 'journal':

30 October, 2011

Since last night it has been hard breathing for Hope.


31 October, 2011

Hope got her wings last night.

HOPE'S STORY, PART 13: "'DEAR DIARY' CONTINUED"

23 Oct, 2011 continued:

"A week or so ago, I was having a rough night, filled with discouragement, thinking I wasn't strong enough to watch this, to endure faithfully, and for the first time in my life, I found myself becoming angry at Heavenly Father.

My thought was this:  from the moment we found out we were pregnant, we began praying for our baby--that the child would have learned the things necessary to be faithful and righteous and that the child would develop properly.  Even after we found out Hope had NOT developed properly I was ok with the Lord--it was not what I wanted, but I wasn't angry.  I had also never asked in my prayers for Hope to be healed, because I never felt that that was the right thing to pray for.
On this night last week I was angry with the Lord, because I HAD asked that Hope would be comfortable and not have pain and this one little prayer--after not asking for all the others--had not been answered.
And I couldn't bear it.
I told Tyler why I was angry through my sobs.  I can't remember what he said, but then I remember being angry at HIM because he was so much calmer than me."

HOPE'S STORY, PART 6: "A VIDEO AND A SERIOUS COMMANDMENT"

The following journal entries from my mom made me reconsider posting Hope's story.

My fear is that, after reading the following entries, you might leave either 1) depressed 2) miserable 3) glum or 4) despondent.  The reason?  The following entries (and those that will be coming) have a way of being like a field of thorny flowers...there is a lot of "Pretty", but there is also a lot of "Ow."
I love you people and I understand your hearts are sacred places and I want to tread lightly.  And so I have censored some of the story, and altered or shortened some descriptions.  If you choose to keep reading, I COMMAND you to hear the Good, the Love, the Learning, the Humbling, the Joy, the I'll-Never-Forget-Because-I-Don't-Want-Tos in the memories as well.