23 Oct, 2011 continued:
"A week or so ago, I was having a rough night, filled with discouragement, thinking I wasn't strong enough to watch this, to endure faithfully, and for the first time in my life, I found myself becoming angry at Heavenly Father.
My thought was this: from the moment we found out we were pregnant, we began praying for our baby--that the child would have learned the things necessary to be faithful and righteous and that the child would develop properly. Even after we found out Hope had NOT developed properly I was ok with the Lord--it was not what I wanted, but I wasn't angry. I had also never asked in my prayers for Hope to be healed, because I never felt that that was the right thing to pray for.
On this night last week I was angry with the Lord, because I HAD asked that Hope would be comfortable and not have pain and this one little prayer--after not asking for all the others--had not been answered.
And I couldn't bear it.
I told Tyler why I was angry through my sobs. I can't remember what he said, but then I remember being angry at HIM because he was so much calmer than me."
